When I began looking at my relationship with alcohol, I stopped and started many times. In my mind I was failing at quitting. Then days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months. I was super proud of myself. Though deciding on my own to quit, there was no intervention, there was no public announcement, there was “no I quit” I didn’t tell a soul in fear of failure. I would just politely decline alcohol. People were starting to notice.
SHAME IN NOT BEING ABLE TO DRINK
In fact I never even opened up to my own family. I was ashamed I couldn’t handle my alcohol, I couldn’t handle what millions of people around the world deem as normal. I felt like shit. Being that it was Mothers Day yesterday, I was thinking back to a year ago. I was about 9 months sober and my son and his girlfriend took me out for dinner. They were drinking these fabulous belini’s and my son handed it to me and said try a sip and I faked trying a sip as I didn’t want to tell him.
My entire life I’ve felt like I was less than, not drinking was feeling once again that I was less than.
Fast forward a few more months, after that Mothers Day Dinner in 2018 and I changed my mindset, to I am more than, not less than. I am doing what millions & millions of people deem not normal, how amazing is that! I lived in that truth. Now everyone knows.
Back to Shame
Almost two years into not drinking, I am back to shame. For some reason these past few months I have , not really wanting to talk about not drinking, maybe because it’s part of my lifestyle now, or maybe because there is something that needs to be healed. I’m not too sure.
Has anyone else gone through this? Please Comment, looking for suggestions, advice… anything
Juggling sobriety, family, career and household can be overwhelming, at times. Therefore when this happens we can start feeling very depleted, frayed at the edges. Dare I say, run ragged even.
Your mental health is one of the most important parts of your sobriety. Here are 5 Tips I have used when feeling stressed and plain old run down.
5 TIPS WHEN LIFE GETS YOU DOWN:
Eat, many including myself under stress don’t eat enough, skip meals completely. Which in turn can lead to more stress on our bodies and mind, or reach for sugary snacks, instead of a healthy meal. Eat something healthy and regularly.
Next main priority is not numbing out with alcohol, set your intention, no matter how stressed you are it won’t help. My mantra is: life may be hard right now, but wine will make it harder.
Cry, yes release those pent-up emotions, crying does help. Not a cryer, cut up an onion, or watch a sad movie.
Stop with all the self help & personal development. No, not for good but give yourself a break for a day or two. I truly believe we can overload on thinking we are broken. Read a book for enjoyment, watch a fun movie, hang out with friends or family, take a social media break.
Do ONE task you’ve been putting off, this will give you a sense of accomplishment. Mow the lawn, take stuff to Goodwill, call your mom or that friend back.
Take good care of yourself for a few days, allow your feelings to be present, and know that life can be hard, but this too shall pass.
Stop saying No. Ok not to drugs or alcohol or anything harmful to the environment, but do you say no before you even try something new?
There is a lot online about stopping say yes because you are overcommitted but I am finding there is a lot of people that are saying no and are close minded.
I have been criticized by my own family when I started eating healthy and cleaning up my diet. — Years later almost all of them have adapted to my lifestyle
I have been laughed at by friends for choosing to not go out and go to the gym in the morning. – Seriously yes seriously
I have been judged by other women for lifting weights, telling me I’ll end up looking like a man. – Actually lifting weights increases your bone density, helps prevent osteoporosis, fights weight gain, increases metabolism and it’s really tough to add muscle.
I’ve had my parents curl their nose at me when I told them I was going to baby goat yoga- so much fine I highly recommend it! More laughter and cuteness than yoga
I’ve had people tell me not to waste my time going to see Tony Robbins & Jen Sincero (author of You Are A Bad Ass) speak last summer – Loved them both so much energy.
I’ve been told chiropractic and acupuncture are dangerous and I shouldn’t go – I literally wouldn’t be running a 1/2 marathon at the age of 47 if I didn’t see these two.
Yesterday when I told my husband I was going to try cryotherapy as I have a nagging pain in my left leg, once again I was met with no, don’t waste your money, as he puts his hands on his knees and can barely straighten up after a long day of work. – my bitchy side came out after his comment, and I’ll let you know how cryotherapy goes next week.
Honestly, I used to poo-poo new things too, but after years of working on self development, getting rid of judgement and having to train my brain in learning to be open and try new things, it has opened a world of doors to me with living healthy, taking care of my body and has been instrumental in getting sober and staying sober .
To be open, and teachable is one of the most powerful transformations I have made next to living sober, I will try anything that betters me and make a decision after I have tried it not once but 2 or 3 times.
Stay open my friends even if your family/friends/coworkers/strangers on the internet aren’t. My one piece of advice if you know they are NO people don’t say anything, just do it, take action and then talk about the event/food/course.