A Sober book club came about because in early sobriety I was looking for things to do so I found a local book club and it became very apparent the women weren’t here to discuss books, but gossip, discuss their marital woes, or dating stories and DRINK. Oh the wine was flowing like I may as well have stepped into a wine bar. So I talked to a few friends and they all said yes that was how their book clubs were so much drunk fun (insert eyeball here) . One lady said that she warns her colleagues at work when book club night is in order for them to be prepared for her hangover the next day… UGH, it was disheartening, and of course I never went back & have continued to read alone on my own.
A few weeks ago, I started A Teetotalers Online Book Club I thought it might be kind of hokey, an online book club meetings are by zoom, but I like connecting with sober women, and I love to read. Then as the first meeting got closer I got nervous what if no one shows up? I already had a dialogue in my head going on, I was going to shut this meeting down if people weren’t showing up, and all the other negative self talk one can get into when you launch something and then second guess yourself.
Guess what they did show up to the Zoom Call. Guess what it was FUN, and guess what we were from ALL OVER THE WORLD AND we were connecting over sobriety, our life, and BOOKS. And we are all looking forward to next months meeting.
The book chosen to read this month is The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, and if you would like to join us for fun in sobriety, you are more than welcome to this is just the start of something beautiful. A TEETOTALERS BOOK CLUB join here to connect with other amazing sober sisters.
The horror, right. I don’t track days sober. I have been seeing all over instagram, people holding up signs and celebrating and getting hundreds of likes. I am also in a couple of Facebook Sobriety Groups and a few months ago one woman posted she was celebrating she will have 500 days sober. I thought do I have 500 Days Sober? I don’t know. I had made a conscious decision last time I got sober not to track how many days I had sober.
10 Reasons Why I Don’t Track How Many Days I Have Sober
I used to track how many days I had sober, like every minute of it. There are even apps to do so, right down to the seconds you have sober. It would leave me defeated I was always resetting the clock.
I would yell at the app, are you kidding me it can’t be 11, 2 hours, 36 mins and 6 seconds, this fucking this is lying.
I felt like a failure every time I reset the clock. Not looking at it like it was a life lesson, or what I had learned, or what I needed to look in my life. I would just have self hatred.
I felt like I was whiteknuckling it. I didn’t feel like the numbers were ever big enough, nothing was enough and I had felt like I wasn’t enough long enough.
I didn’t count my drinking days.
I’d heard so many people in AA laugh about how many 24 hour chips they had .
I don’t want to be seen as the person who had 46,000 days without a drink a drug or a cigarette when I die. I want to be remembered for a lot more than that.
My days were being measured against a liquid instead of quality, productivity, kindness, compassion and what type of person I was. There is no measurement for that it’s about being a better person than you were yesterday.
It felt like sobriety had an end date like “The Whole 21” or the “21 Day Fix “Diets, just like my fitness, my eating healthy, there is not expiration date.
Sobriety is NOT a competition.
Ok now you know Why I Don’t Track How Many Days I Have Sober. My sobriety date is the first Saturday in August of 2017 I do know that much. If you are feeling any of the feelings up top, I’m telling you it’s time to start creating a life you love. Here’s what I did at first, instead of tracking every single day, hour, minute second. I bought a planner just a cheap weekly one, and I’d write my gratitude in it daily 3 things I was grateful for . Then I would mark off by the week, I started this planner at approximately 4 weeks sober, and I marked it off by the week and at 4 weeks, 6 weeks, 8 weeks I would reward myself. With experiences, I did a sensory deprivation float, went to baby goat yoga, and booked a yoga retreat. I looked back at my planner and around week 22 I had stopped writing in the weeks, faithfully but not intentionally did I quit writing and I see I wrote week 25, 29 and 30 and that was the end of counting. It just petered out.
Today I count today as sober, I write daily my gratitudes (3 at then end of every day and that includes: grateful I am sober today. We all have just 24 hours including Beyonce, no more no less. So enjoy today with gratitude, be happy to be sober, just for today, and know that life is more than just about being sober, it’s about creating a life of happiness, gratitude, goals, family, love, kindness, memories, activities and health and my sobriety roles into all of that. Instead of counting the days behind or counting the hours ahead, try and be present for now.
When I first got sober, I wrote this blog post bored in sobriety. I had no friends that were sober, my husband isn’t sober, and I was bored. I have a girlfriend that is now going through the same thing, she doesn’t want to go to meetings, she has a young child at home and she’s bored. We talk a lot and we both read a lot and talk about books, so she said to me why don’t you do a sober book club.
So I did, We officially have launched A Teetotalers Book Club, Online and FREE, for women in recovery. You can be at any place in your recovery, the only requirement is you show up for the Book Club Sober and you want to connect with other amazing women. CLICK HERE TO JOIN US