Do You Smoke Pot?

Do you smoke pot? Do you eat edibles? I am getting so tired of this question, as I am getting asked it almost daily.

When I got sober, I decided consciously to rid my body and mind completely of substances including cigarettes. So I decided not to turn alcohol into another habit.

It’s no different to me, if I gave up alcohol but I had decided to snort cocaine (though not according to society) and honestly I much prefer to go up, than be chowing down on Oreo’s and slugging about. I believe a drug is a drug (alcohol is a drug, pot is a drug, cigarettes are a drug, oxycontaine is a drug, cocaine is a drug) . The only difference to me is the government legalizing and collecting money off of it and labelling it ok.

Honestly I am sick and tired of the pot culture that has popped up here, there is a cannabis shop on every block in my city, people smoke it walking down the street, I’d be arrested if I walked around with a wine glass, or shamed if you smoke a cigarette here in public.

I have known too many that have substituted one substance for another, and again are running/hiding/ not dealing with the real issues, numbing out just using a different agent.

So the answer is no my friends the answer is no I do not smoke pot, I don’t do cocaine, cigarettes, or oxy, or any other drug and yes yes yes I have fun. It’s called life in full colour.

From Booze Bitch to Happiness

I sat  last night a little worried I wouldn’t make it to 6months it was that Friday feeling, I haven’t had that thought in a while, but it popped into my head, I removed it said don’t be silly.  You aren’t drinking because it’s Friday, Hell NO, and then it happened I went to bed and woke up hangover free and today I honour 6 months sober. As I write this my skin tingles.

It’s a little weird but I haven’t shared that I am six months sober with anyone, in fact most of my recovery has not been shared with many, just a few close women I met at an outpatient program, and my Y12SR meetings.  I don’t really recover out loud,  I’m starting to put in some hashtags on my instagram, and make some comments, but slowly.  I don’t share with my family,  they aren’t supportive.  I have taken Hip Sobriety Course (which I love and highly recommend) and want to share it on the group, but I haven’t. I have a group of She Recovers Women but I also haven’t shared it there either.   I’m not a big fan of tooting my own horn, I still slightly feel like a fish out of water.  I am going to text my girlfriend though and tell her.  My journey back to me has really been my own.  Today I’m almost a little sad I don’t have an applause orchestra playing though, or a parade in my name. I’d really like a parade today though I did have a piece of decadent apple pie.

The past year has been about my sobriety and working me. Some days I think maybe I didn’t have a problem, I wasn’t a daily drinker, I wasn’t an alcoholic by my definition (losing jobs, drivers licenses, children, living or living on skid row or incarcerated)  but I was a hot mess ( yet again), I felt like a failure, I felt like a bad mom,  bad wife, in general a bad human and so useless.  I videotaped several hangovers,  I have re read journals (so many day ones) , I look at the empty dates on my instagram page, especially when I get that thought of maybe I didn’t have a problem.  Yet I had a huge emotional problem of what was happening while I was drinking.  What happened to me was I felt useless as a human and I had no life.  That has all changed today.  I am motivated, I am grateful, so incredibly grateful, I love life, I realize life is a gift, I’m taking courses, I am present with my family.  I like waking up with no hangover. I don’t feel useless.

Cheer’s to water.  Fuck I love water.

Here’s to another sober day xoxox Christina

 

 

 

 

The Week In Between

So glad to be home, Christmas was fine but strained, my husband’s attitude was quite asinine, and caused quite a bit of stress. I was glad to hit the road and get back to the city.   Today I went to my support group it’s called STAR and it was part of my outpatient program.  Everyone was talking about this week, the unnamed blah post Christmas but Not New Year week and how awkward it felt and they were anxious, about 2018.  I’m like WHAAAAT.  Ok I’m obviously the odd duck in the room.  I am loving this week.  I got home yesterday and got up this morning  ( a little later than usual) went to the gym (it was empty) and I was fuelled by my moms homemade butter tarts, I had an amazing workout felt great, got to work it was quiet cleaned up emails and continued working on year end.  Then I went to my support group.

This is my in between week of self care and starting to work on my goals I am ramping up my business and I am going to take my Yoga Teacher Training in March so lots of extra yoga going on right now. I felt like the few days leading up to Christmas and the travel were a little crazy & stressful.  Now I am literally taking this week to enjoy! Slowing the pace down, going to bed early, reading and  working on me.  My tree is still up it’s winter, I’m being all cozy and doing what I need to do, I am loving these days.

People seem to be stressed about January 1st being a New Year, well no one seemed to be stressed about May1st or June1st or July 1st so I am treating January 1st.  just like another day.  Except it’s a holiday.  One extra day before I go back to work and dig in, one extra day to take care of me, work on my goals and really just be present.

I also don’t set resolutions as I find they don’t work for me.  So my January will look exactly as I planned it to be in December.  I have goals to reach, and things to do but I have no extreme life haul that is completely unachievable for myself planned.  My sobriety will remain first and foremost just like every day for the last 5 months.

How is everyone else coping with this week?  Are you stressed, blah or soaking it up?

Happy Sober in between Holidays week.

Christina