Expectation vs Reality

Expectation vs Reality

Thursday I was to leave on a road trip at noon, well at 2pm I was still waiting for my girlfriend to pick me up. Waiting and waiting as we didn’t end up leaving until 3pm. Now if you have ever tried to get away from home, as a business owner, wife, mom, fur mom you know that this is never easy. By 230 I was getting pissed off, I had been up since 5am getting ready to leave for noon.

This is a girls trip and we were road tripping for about 5 hours, as my girlfriend is competing in a body building/fitness competition. When I agreed to I go I was so excited to be going away. Expecting a super instagrammable girls weekend, doing fun things in a different city and then being with her watching her journey onto the stage.

Though the last 24 hours is not what I expected. We left late yesterday due some unfortunate circumstances with a family emergency late Wednesday and her leaving things to the last minute to do (like cooking and packing her food & packing)

We arrive around 8pm and I needed to eat so I went to the hotel bar by myself ate. Then it was getting organized and off to bed. Today we were up early she had check in with her coach and we had to run around for an hour. Getting some more food for her which she hadn’t bought or cooked enough. I was planning after this we would head off and explore for a few hours. She was tired, so instead of doing anything today (remember I have no car and no uber here) back to the hotel room.

So I decide no more sitting around for me!!! Off to the pool for a swim then I sat in the lobby and did some work & read. I then decided to head out and go for a walk and poke around the mall across the street. This did help pass the time this afternoon.

I’m bored out of my mind. Why because I expected something different. It’s raining here, and it never rains in the city we are in especially in July, I thought my girlfriend would be happy, she’s not. She’s tired and #hangry

Expectation VS Reality is super common, sometimes we don’t even realize we’ve put expectations on things (like this trip). It can happen with relationships, jobs, dates, special occasions and events (think weddings, family reunions, christenings etc.

WHAT TO DO:

Try to not hype an event up. I think back to my wedding I really had low expectations of it. We were married in a very rural part of Panama – Central America, in a boutique hotel that had never held a wedding. I really didn’t know how it was going to go. It was amazing and it ended up being one of my most fun nights of my life, I loved my wedding)

Putting it into perspective, I had more expectations for this trip than my wedding.

Change the things you can and let go of what you can’t.

I’m not good with boredom. So I can’t control that my girlfriend is tired and hangry and that she just wants to relax. I can control my boredom (I am writing this post,) I went and did my own things and I went out for dinner again. You cannot control anyone else, just yourself.

Communicate

My girlfriend and I decided because of the weather not to stay the extra day here, like we were going to.

Let Go of the Expectation

Let it be what it is going to be and make the best of the situation. So yes let it go, while it’s happening. I’m catching up on work, reading and will hit the gym tomorrow morning, and will go and enjoy watching the Fitness show.

I’ve been on bad dates and just decided to enjoy it for what it was. Visits with my family that were less than stellar and just counted down the hours. My son decided not to go to University but he’s super happy at what he’s doing now. Let go of your expectations.

xoxoxo Christina

Reality of Sober Long Weekends

Reality of Sober Long Weekends

May Long weekend, the unofficial kick off to summer. Instagram, Facebook and Snapchat are showing us all how amazing life everyones life is. But you are watching all of this and your weekend doesn’t look like these epic events that are taking place.

Sober Long Weekends

My very first sober long weekend was 2 years ago and it was hell. In fact I didn’t I didn’t make it through sober, I said fuck it. Worst mistake ever, because guess what drinking didn’t make it epic.

Fast forward to when I finally got a month of not drinking and the next sober long weekend rolled around and all I felt like was an outsider. It was the end of summer not the beginning, everyone was travelling or camping or throwing bbq’s and I was crying in bed, binging netflix and feeling like a loser.

Go forward in the journey a bit more to this past weekend. I was watching everyones stories on social media & that old feeling popped up. Everyone was away, everyone was drinking, bbqing, having the time of their lives. Except me. Well that’s what it seemed like on social media.

So I started thinking about my weekend, I did a lot of work, hung out with my husband, ran, went to a fantastic sushi place for dinner, and really just rested, isn’t that what long weekends are for?

Reality vs Social Media

My girlfriend came back from camping and I spoke to her, she was exhausted, hungover and already dreading Tuesday. Her family trip was so amazing and fun on instagram, but what she spoke of was about was the chaos. The drunkeness, the expense, the exhaustion, who didn’t get along with who. It was exhausting to listen to.

My son, who’s weekend was all over social media, came home hungover, grumpy and battled traffic for 4 hours what should have been a 1.5- 2 hour drive home.

I on the other hand though my weekend may not have been “instagram worthy”, but it was hangover free, so when you look at the highlight reel remember a sober long weekend is really a great long weekend. If you are bored and remember boredom is a trigger download the Ultimate Guide What to do Instead of Drinking Here

You can find me on Instagram here, pop by say hi!

xoxox Christina

Gratitude

Gratitude

Gratitude.  Everyone talks about it but what is it? Remember your mom say ing ” we are blessed or be grateful you have that”  So I technically know what it means.  The Miriam Webster Dictionary definition is appreciative of benefits.

What I had wished 20 years ago is what Gratitude actually  was.  If I had thought about it or had it explained to me.   You see I was a single mom back then.

GRATITUDE LOOKING BACK

I would waitress nights, I loved it, I had an amazing group on the night crew, and we always had  each others back (we still know each other).   I never had to work weekends so I could be home with my son, I was finishing  school for my degree.  I didn’t receive any child support, I lived 3 blocks from the beach in the best neighbourhood in the city.   We lived at the beach in the summer.  I lived in an amazing building, that had wonderful neighbours that pitched in with raising my son.  I had an amazing sitter in the building, that babysat nights for me for extra cash as her husband was always on the road. The community everyone knew each other (so rare in our city now.)  I had a car, my son played soccer, we had food on the table, clothes on our backs, great friends, my parents pitched in with both time and money even though they didn’t live anywhere near me.

HINDSIGHT IS 20/20

Hindsight is 20/20 though,  I would complain, days could be long and hard, I was tired a lot,  especially when my son was little.  There wasn’t a lot of extra money to go around but enough.

Motherhood is hard, single motherhood is not for the weak.    We had so much to be grateful for.  Life was pretty damn good even on the hard days.  I wish I could have seen that.  I see it now, today I am so grateful.  So damn appreciative.  Now my city is one of the most expensive in North America, and single moms with no child support waitressing and going to school aren’t living 3 blocks from the beach.

If I could say something to my younger self, it would be write 3 things you are grateful for every night.  It’s what I do now, and life isn’t as hard.

Interestingly enough I look and think is life easier because I’m grateful or know what gratitude is?

I wish I had done it then to see the beauty in my life.

 

xoxo Christina