FOMO While Travelling Sober

FOMO While Travelling Sober

FOMO while travelling can really lead down a rabbit hole of self destruction. This past week I travelled from winter weather (chilly but sunny) to a self development self love conference in SUNNY New Port Beach California. A travel tip I live by is hit up the grocery store for provisions as Hangry doesn’t just happen at home.

Off I walked to Whole Foods, which is located in a very posh, very beautiful place called Fashion Island. BAM it hit me, that itch, all I could see while walking there were these beautiful patios, filled with beautiful people, sitting drinking. I haven’t had that itch in a while (it’s been winter here) and it was a sinking feeling.

I used to like Whole Foods concept, but by the time I was finished buying my provisions and had to cruise by the Booze Section, my thoughts were heading into a negative spiral, Whole Foods doesn’t care about your health or they wouldn’t be carrying Booze. By the time I got out of Whole Foods I had a full on hate going for the store. ( I call it Whole Paycheck seriously who shops at this store regularly, so overpriced, especially now considering Amazon owns it) as you can guess I was even pissier. I’ve been plastered by the lure of cocktails from the moment I touched down in the sun. FOMO kicks in I think I am the only one in California, not sitting on a patio drinking, except it’s about 1pm on Thursday, but my rational brain has not kicked in on this.

Friday Night the first night of the conference begins and I chose not to purchase the VIP option of this conference as it is a Wine Night, I made this choice months ago, the friends I am with are all going and the FOMO is beating on my brain, again I am the only one (which is not true) not drinking while travelling. I’m exhausted from sightseeing and walking, I’m emotionally tired from the alcohol vibes, I want to sleep, but I can’t. I’m having serious FOND (Fear of Not Drinking). Even though my friends have been great ( they aren’t sober people, but also don’t have drinking issues) it’s always the voice inside my head that’s the loudest.

I sat and cried and when I did so I also had a thought, WHY am I here?

Not here physically with a drinking problem, but why am I here in California. Why did I travel to this event? Why did I spend all this money?

My mom always taught me travelling was the best form of education, and a lot of vacations I have drank away and been so hungover I didn’t want to do anything the next day, but sit lay by a pool or in bed and sleep. I did not go on the tours booked, boat rides offered, exploring, or even out of the hotel, due to hangovers, I would miss the days.

“You can drink anywhere, why would you drink while travelling? The reason to travel isn’t to drink, but to explore, be curious, soak in what you are there for”

This one though changed my entire trip, it ended the FOMO, it ended all my feelings about drinking and the romanticizing of the drinking. I am not hear to drink, I’m hear to love myself and be a part of an event of 500 women and to recharge, to connect and to learn.

I had this realization once I asked myself the above, I wasn’t missing out, I was gaining the most from this experience I could by being present.

This past year I have had the privilege to travel extensively sober and honestly have been the best travel of my life.

So instead of FOMO and feeling sorry for myself I looked at what I got from this trip was far more valuable than any cocktail could ever offer me.

xoxox Christina

Holy Shit… I forgot I had this blog

Wow I got busy sobriety can do that to you.  I started working on my own fitness company and thought no one wants to hear about my alcohol problems they want to see how you can workout.  So I’ve been focusing on that.

I FREAKING HONOURED A YEARS SOBRIETY IN AUGUST,  along with being a year cigarette free!   CAN YOU BELIEVE IT, I CAN’T, I still can’t its so surreal.  I celebrated by going to Paris, where everyone drinks and smokes and I had the best time ever, being so present in a city that’s beyond describable in beauty ( or maybe it is I’m just not that great at descriptions lol).  Every morning (that I wasn’t jet lagged – yeah not hungover, jet lagged) I woke up and ran by the Eiffel Tower, through the park to the Trocadero  (no crowds just stunning sunrises, the park mostly to myself, I fell so in love with Paris and with my life again.  I don’t think I’ve ever been so grateful for my sobriety, for my life in being able to take in the moments.

I never wanted to drink in Paris, but I wanted to smoke (they still have ashtrays on the patio restaurant tables wtf hmmm coffee and cigarettes)  but I didn’t, because I know that’s a slippery slope for me.  My awareness level of the amount of drinking hough was huge, and even my husband noticed it.  Women after work sitting drinking alone in cafes, reading a book.  I spoke to women that weren’t from Paris but other parts of Northern Europe and they too noticed it, I thought it was just us Canadians that maybe weren’t used to it NOPE,  women drink a lot more in public alone there.  I wanted to tell them there’s another way, there’s another way,  as I drank my amazing cappuccino’s.

Life still has it’s ups and downs, but if it didn’t that would be boring.  I came out publicly on my  fitness social media as sober a few weeks ago.  Well I drip fed it, first I admitted I smoked for years full time when I first started working out  then only when I drank, then I admitted I binged drank heavily.  Interestingly enough my clients, my chiropractor, friends have been super supportive.  Funny enough my closest friend since Grade 5 though didn’t say fuck all to me (she doesn’t have a drinking problem at all) I was a little hurt no I was a lot hurt.  Like nothing we text every day not a fucking word and I know she sees all my posts.   Still haven’t said anything to my parents, I hate judgement and gossip and a pity party (which is how they live).  I fully believe that taking action first and announcing it to the world second worked for me.

I had a conversation with my son he’s 22, that I was going to come out on Instagram (which is my business platform) about being sober.  I asked him if he’d noticed I’d stopped drinking (remember this conversation is a year into my sobriety now LOL).  He said yes.   I told him I was going to come out about my binge drinking and struggles around alcohol. He nodded asked me if he was going to find out anything weird, I shrugged said yes probably.  We laughed.  He then said “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having a glass of wine”  I said “when did you ever see me have ONE glass of wine” He laughed and said “good point”    I then said if I could have one glass I wouldn’t be sober.  And then in typical 22 year old style he changed the subject. He has liked every one of my sobriety posts and so have his friends, so I hope I’m inspiring them to know at a younger age than me that you can have a life without drinking and if they are struggling to take a look at it now. It’s so much better.

Ok for now my sober loves.  Have a good one.

xoxo Christina