Do You Smoke Pot?

Do you smoke pot? Do you eat edibles? I am getting so tired of this question, as I am getting asked it almost daily.

When I got sober, I decided consciously to rid my body and mind completely of substances including cigarettes. So I decided not to turn alcohol into another habit.

It’s no different to me, if I gave up alcohol but I had decided to snort cocaine (though not according to society) and honestly I much prefer to go up, than be chowing down on Oreo’s and slugging about. I believe a drug is a drug (alcohol is a drug, pot is a drug, cigarettes are a drug, oxycontaine is a drug, cocaine is a drug) . The only difference to me is the government legalizing and collecting money off of it and labelling it ok.

Honestly I am sick and tired of the pot culture that has popped up here, there is a cannabis shop on every block in my city, people smoke it walking down the street, I’d be arrested if I walked around with a wine glass, or shamed if you smoke a cigarette here in public.

I have known too many that have substituted one substance for another, and again are running/hiding/ not dealing with the real issues, numbing out just using a different agent.

So the answer is no my friends the answer is no I do not smoke pot, I don’t do cocaine, cigarettes, or oxy, or any other drug and yes yes yes I have fun. It’s called life in full colour.

Holy Shit… I forgot I had this blog

Wow I got busy sobriety can do that to you.  I started working on my own fitness company and thought no one wants to hear about my alcohol problems they want to see how you can workout.  So I’ve been focusing on that.

I FREAKING HONOURED A YEARS SOBRIETY IN AUGUST,  along with being a year cigarette free!   CAN YOU BELIEVE IT, I CAN’T, I still can’t its so surreal.  I celebrated by going to Paris, where everyone drinks and smokes and I had the best time ever, being so present in a city that’s beyond describable in beauty ( or maybe it is I’m just not that great at descriptions lol).  Every morning (that I wasn’t jet lagged – yeah not hungover, jet lagged) I woke up and ran by the Eiffel Tower, through the park to the Trocadero  (no crowds just stunning sunrises, the park mostly to myself, I fell so in love with Paris and with my life again.  I don’t think I’ve ever been so grateful for my sobriety, for my life in being able to take in the moments.

I never wanted to drink in Paris, but I wanted to smoke (they still have ashtrays on the patio restaurant tables wtf hmmm coffee and cigarettes)  but I didn’t, because I know that’s a slippery slope for me.  My awareness level of the amount of drinking hough was huge, and even my husband noticed it.  Women after work sitting drinking alone in cafes, reading a book.  I spoke to women that weren’t from Paris but other parts of Northern Europe and they too noticed it, I thought it was just us Canadians that maybe weren’t used to it NOPE,  women drink a lot more in public alone there.  I wanted to tell them there’s another way, there’s another way,  as I drank my amazing cappuccino’s.

Life still has it’s ups and downs, but if it didn’t that would be boring.  I came out publicly on my  fitness social media as sober a few weeks ago.  Well I drip fed it, first I admitted I smoked for years full time when I first started working out  then only when I drank, then I admitted I binged drank heavily.  Interestingly enough my clients, my chiropractor, friends have been super supportive.  Funny enough my closest friend since Grade 5 though didn’t say fuck all to me (she doesn’t have a drinking problem at all) I was a little hurt no I was a lot hurt.  Like nothing we text every day not a fucking word and I know she sees all my posts.   Still haven’t said anything to my parents, I hate judgement and gossip and a pity party (which is how they live).  I fully believe that taking action first and announcing it to the world second worked for me.

I had a conversation with my son he’s 22, that I was going to come out on Instagram (which is my business platform) about being sober.  I asked him if he’d noticed I’d stopped drinking (remember this conversation is a year into my sobriety now LOL).  He said yes.   I told him I was going to come out about my binge drinking and struggles around alcohol. He nodded asked me if he was going to find out anything weird, I shrugged said yes probably.  We laughed.  He then said “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having a glass of wine”  I said “when did you ever see me have ONE glass of wine” He laughed and said “good point”    I then said if I could have one glass I wouldn’t be sober.  And then in typical 22 year old style he changed the subject. He has liked every one of my sobriety posts and so have his friends, so I hope I’m inspiring them to know at a younger age than me that you can have a life without drinking and if they are struggling to take a look at it now. It’s so much better.

Ok for now my sober loves.  Have a good one.

xoxo Christina

 

 

 

 

From Booze Bitch to Happiness

I sat  last night a little worried I wouldn’t make it to 6months it was that Friday feeling, I haven’t had that thought in a while, but it popped into my head, I removed it said don’t be silly.  You aren’t drinking because it’s Friday, Hell NO, and then it happened I went to bed and woke up hangover free and today I honour 6 months sober. As I write this my skin tingles.

It’s a little weird but I haven’t shared that I am six months sober with anyone, in fact most of my recovery has not been shared with many, just a few close women I met at an outpatient program, and my Y12SR meetings.  I don’t really recover out loud,  I’m starting to put in some hashtags on my instagram, and make some comments, but slowly.  I don’t share with my family,  they aren’t supportive.  I have taken Hip Sobriety Course (which I love and highly recommend) and want to share it on the group, but I haven’t. I have a group of She Recovers Women but I also haven’t shared it there either.   I’m not a big fan of tooting my own horn, I still slightly feel like a fish out of water.  I am going to text my girlfriend though and tell her.  My journey back to me has really been my own.  Today I’m almost a little sad I don’t have an applause orchestra playing though, or a parade in my name. I’d really like a parade today though I did have a piece of decadent apple pie.

The past year has been about my sobriety and working me. Some days I think maybe I didn’t have a problem, I wasn’t a daily drinker, I wasn’t an alcoholic by my definition (losing jobs, drivers licenses, children, living or living on skid row or incarcerated)  but I was a hot mess ( yet again), I felt like a failure, I felt like a bad mom,  bad wife, in general a bad human and so useless.  I videotaped several hangovers,  I have re read journals (so many day ones) , I look at the empty dates on my instagram page, especially when I get that thought of maybe I didn’t have a problem.  Yet I had a huge emotional problem of what was happening while I was drinking.  What happened to me was I felt useless as a human and I had no life.  That has all changed today.  I am motivated, I am grateful, so incredibly grateful, I love life, I realize life is a gift, I’m taking courses, I am present with my family.  I like waking up with no hangover. I don’t feel useless.

Cheer’s to water.  Fuck I love water.

Here’s to another sober day xoxox Christina