Shrinking Your But

I had always loved to party. It made me feel powerful, It made me feel sexy, It made me feel like I belonged. Until it didn’t.

I am not going to sugar coat this post, I’m super direct, and that’s my coaching style with both fitness and sobriety. You have to shrink your but. Not your butt, your but. So many people come to me and say I am ready to quit drinking… but. Your buts can be endless

a) I’m going on vacation

b) I’m super stressed (work, relationships, motherhood)

c) It’s Christmas

d) my best friend is getting married

e) there’s a work thing

f) It’s the weekend

g) I need to keep hanging onto my boyfriend

h) it’s summer

i) it’s Christmas

j) it’s my birthday soon

k) I’m graduating

l) I have a family reunion

m) I’m so busy

n) I am part of a wine club

o) my spouse drinks

p) all my friends drink

q) no one knows I have a problem

r) what will everyone say

s) I have anxiety

t) I have depression

u) I’m getting married

v) I can try moderating again

w) I need to let loose & have fun

x) I don’t want to go to AA

y) I have social anxiety

z) but what if I fail

You know what I say to all of this, it’s excuses and every single one of these is or might happen and its called LIFE, whether you drink or not. BUT you are also on the right track, why because you are looking at your relationship with alcohol.

You see for years I didn’t really have a problem I could control it, when the partying got out of control I would scale it back.

This went well, until my late 30’s and all of a sudden I realized my drinking got out of control and I tried to reign it and I couldn’t, no matter what I did. I knew I needed to quit but my buts were too big. I had an excuse for everything. Every one of those 26 excuses up there is my but not to quit drinking. Which meant I had to go through some more pain, a lot more pain until I decided my Why to quit was bigger, than my but.

I shrank my but, and finally got sober!

RELAPSE HAPPENS BEFORE YOU DRINK

Relapse happens before you drink. I love this saying I found a journal, of mine when I was first was trying to work on quitting drinking. When I was taught this saying I went back to my journal to take a look at what was going on, before I drank. And every damn time I recognized that I relapsed before I drank.

In the journal, there was a lot of hurt, a lot of anger, anger towards my husband, towards myself, feeling very left out, hating my life. Then there were the injustices, of the world that I could not change, people starving, my city I live in changing for the worse. I seemed to take it all on. It left me wanting to numb out, of course it did and of course I did. Looking back it makes perfect sense when you have anger and feeling not good enough, hatred it’s a perfect storm for drinking.

I can look back now and see the events leading up to my drinking, I also can see it in other people, a lot of time its anger/resentment/hatred that people are struggling with, because that’s what I struggled with. I watched a friend of mine relapse not long ago, and when I say watched, I mean I saw her going down the rabbit hole, she was angry at her life. I talked to her, she fluffed it off, she couldn’t see it until after. She was really lucky this time, she drank for about 3 days and got back to sobriety. I was never that lucky.

Relapse happens long before the first drink, this past month I found myself on shaky ground, but this time instead of in a journal and looking back I recognized it, anger at the world, at the manufacturing for the plastics we use, once again for my city doing nothing to fix our problems, and I was like no no no. I decided to use this anger this time for good, for speaking out for not hiding, for making my voice known, calling the city, calling out the government, by deciding to honour the anger. We are allowed to stand up for what we believe in. We do not have to be silent, we are allowed to be angry. We just can’t drink over it.

Remember relapse can happen at anytime, you just have to be aware of it, I have found some significant signs in my recovery: Anger is a huge one. So if you are angry honor it, meditate and use that anger to fuel change. Just don’t drink over it.


STOP SAYING NO

Stop saying No. Ok not to drugs or alcohol or anything harmful to the environment, but do you say no before you even try something new?

There is a lot online about stopping say yes because you are overcommitted but I am finding there is a lot of people that are saying no and are close minded.

  • I have been criticized by my own family when I started eating healthy and cleaning up my diet. — Years later almost all of them have adapted to my lifestyle
  • I have been laughed at by friends for choosing to not go out and go to the gym in the morning. – Seriously yes seriously
  • I have been judged by other women for lifting weights, telling me I’ll end up looking like a man. – Actually lifting weights increases your bone density, helps prevent osteoporosis, fights weight gain, increases metabolism and it’s really tough to add muscle.
  • I’ve had my parents curl their nose at me when I told them I was going to baby goat yoga- so much fine I highly recommend it! More laughter and cuteness than yoga
  • I’ve had people tell me not to waste my time going to see Tony Robbins & Jen Sincero (author of You Are A Bad Ass) speak last summer – Loved them both so much energy.
  • I’ve been told chiropractic and acupuncture are dangerous and I shouldn’t go – I literally wouldn’t be running a 1/2 marathon at the age of 47 if I didn’t see these two.
  • Yesterday when I told my husband I was going to try cryotherapy as I have a nagging pain in my left leg, once again I was met with no, don’t waste your money, as he puts his hands on his knees and can barely straighten up after a long day of work. – my bitchy side came out after his comment, and I’ll let you know how cryotherapy goes next week.

Honestly, I used to poo-poo new things too, but after years of working on self development, getting rid of judgement and having to train my brain in learning to be open and try new things, it has opened a world of doors to me with living healthy, taking care of my body and has been instrumental in getting sober and staying sober .

To be open, and teachable is one of the most powerful transformations I have made next to living sober, I will try anything that betters me and make a decision after I have tried it not once but 2 or 3 times.

Stay open my friends even if your family/friends/coworkers/strangers on the internet aren’t. My one piece of advice if you know they are NO people don’t say anything, just do it, take action and then talk about the event/food/course.

xoxoxo Christina