Alcohol in the house when you are sober

On Friday night I hosted a dinner party for business associates of my husband that I did not know, but knew they weren’t big drinkers (one of them is going through chemo). So I wasn’t super worried about it. I have alcohol in my house my husband still drinks. The other factor is I have not isolated myself, ie stopped going places that serves alcohol. I know people that won’t even go into the Starbucks that serves beer. Please also remember at the beginning of my sobriety, I was very careful where I would go (IE I would not sit on a patio on a hot summers day with everyone around me drinking a chardonnay) but at this stage of my journey I know could could care less about booze.

The two things I have not had in my house and won’t have in my house since I got sober is wine and this drink called Hey Y’all. Both were my drink of choice.

So as many of you know when hosting a dinner party, it’s not just the dinner prep, its the tidying of the house, putting away the crap on the front hallway table that’s accumulated (running gear mainly) dusting the built in shelves in the living room that the couch doesn’t face and honestly I’m not sure when I last dusted them, cleaning the main bathroom, cleaning up the plant that Billy (my cat) knocked over in the process while I was cleaning, all the little things that go with prepping a dinner party. By the time dinner was well underway, I was tired and quite hungry.

I had not been there to greet our guests, I headed back into the kitchen though to serve dinner, and low and behold one of our guests had brought me a bottle of wine and it was just sitting on the counter just sitting on the counter like so many times before. Unopened, just sitting staring at me. A cold shiver ran down the back of my neck. I served dinner.

Now I’ve been around wine, people drinking it doesn’t bother me, just NOT in my house.

My husband and I rarely talk about my not drinking or my reasons what led up to me not wanting to drink, when I told him I need to quit drinking his first reaction was you need to quit smoking you don’t have a drinking problem.

When we went to clean up after the guests left (omg dinner party are the best when people are not getting shit faced, cleaning up at 930pm) I looked at my husband and looked at the bottle and I said this gives me shivers. He’s like why not take it to our tenants downstairs, then I said something else, and he said it’s still early take it down NOW. I put my flip flops on and zipped downstairs and handed a nice bottle of wine to the couple, who were thrilled.

Moral of this story, you can be strong in your sobriety, you can keep alcohol in your house, you can go out with friends who drink. DO NOT keep your drink or drug of choice (nicotine is my drug of choice) in your house. Why tempt fate.

Mocktails are not all innocent

Mocktails are not all innocent

A recovery coach told me when I got sober, to go through the same ritual with mocktails, that I did with my cocktails, make a fancy drink they said, put it in a fancy glass enjoy. So on a hot May evening in 2017 that’s what I did, following the exact same habit looking up a recipe, making the mocktail, adding it to a fancy glass, with a lemon wedge, then sitting on the patio and then pretending. I might as well have just added the vodka to this pretty drink right then and there. I drank the next night. I have never made a mocktail at home again.

I never liked the idea of making mocktails at home, typically I drink water in general, before I got sober, I gave up pop years ago (was never a big drinker of it anyways) sometimes I’ll have fresh OJ with brunch, and of course Grape Gatorade when I was hungover (funny thing is I haven’t had a Gatorade since I got sober). But in general I drink 1 cup of coffee in the morning, and water. So the mocktail to me is like calling a tofu steak a real beef steak, it was not the real deal and when your in the mood for a beef steak and you get served tofu, it doesn’t cut it, in fact it made me crave alcohol more than ever.

I do order mocktails out sometimes, at work events or on Valentines Day and the Occasional Special dinner out but honestly 90% of them have been ok 10% have been amazing the one I paid $9.00 for, I felt ripped off.

The other problem I find with mocktails is they tend to be high in sugar drinks. Which in turn I crave more sugar.

I have tried other drinks like la croix and honestly it was just carbonated water, which I am not a fan of carbonated drinks. I don’t like feeling bloated and their coconut flavour tasted like Malibu to me. So another trigger.

So in the end I decided I’ll just stick with my water & coffee and my afternoon tea because mocktails are not all innocent to me.

Have you ever found mocktails triggering or do they satisfy the craving for a drink for you? Tell me in the comments I’m super interested.

xoxoxo Christina

STOP SAYING NO

Stop saying No. Ok not to drugs or alcohol or anything harmful to the environment, but do you say no before you even try something new?

There is a lot online about stopping say yes because you are overcommitted but I am finding there is a lot of people that are saying no and are close minded.

  • I have been criticized by my own family when I started eating healthy and cleaning up my diet. — Years later almost all of them have adapted to my lifestyle
  • I have been laughed at by friends for choosing to not go out and go to the gym in the morning. – Seriously yes seriously
  • I have been judged by other women for lifting weights, telling me I’ll end up looking like a man. – Actually lifting weights increases your bone density, helps prevent osteoporosis, fights weight gain, increases metabolism and it’s really tough to add muscle.
  • I’ve had my parents curl their nose at me when I told them I was going to baby goat yoga- so much fine I highly recommend it! More laughter and cuteness than yoga
  • I’ve had people tell me not to waste my time going to see Tony Robbins & Jen Sincero (author of You Are A Bad Ass) speak last summer – Loved them both so much energy.
  • I’ve been told chiropractic and acupuncture are dangerous and I shouldn’t go – I literally wouldn’t be running a 1/2 marathon at the age of 47 if I didn’t see these two.
  • Yesterday when I told my husband I was going to try cryotherapy as I have a nagging pain in my left leg, once again I was met with no, don’t waste your money, as he puts his hands on his knees and can barely straighten up after a long day of work. – my bitchy side came out after his comment, and I’ll let you know how cryotherapy goes next week.

Honestly, I used to poo-poo new things too, but after years of working on self development, getting rid of judgement and having to train my brain in learning to be open and try new things, it has opened a world of doors to me with living healthy, taking care of my body and has been instrumental in getting sober and staying sober .

To be open, and teachable is one of the most powerful transformations I have made next to living sober, I will try anything that betters me and make a decision after I have tried it not once but 2 or 3 times.

Stay open my friends even if your family/friends/coworkers/strangers on the internet aren’t. My one piece of advice if you know they are NO people don’t say anything, just do it, take action and then talk about the event/food/course.

xoxoxo Christina