Rachel Hollis and Hard Work

Any other Rachel Hollis fans out there?

Last May I signed up for a business weekend called RISE Business Event with Rachel Hollis all the way  in South Carolina (remember I’m from Vancouver Canada).  November rolled around and so did the conference, and I was resisting going. Off I went on a 13 hour flight (I could have gotten to Europe) but I plunked down in North Charleston.

The great thing was it was warm.  I entered the arena the next day with about 6,000 other entrepreneurs and what a rush it was.  Now, I never really followed Rachel Hollis but the speaker line up was undeniably amazing.  Then this amazing force of creative entrepreneurial  nature hit the stage and I was a hard core fan girl.

A few things hit me hard over the next 3 days.  Rachel Hollis kept pounding into us how amazing  being an entrepreneur is but also it’s HARD WORK and consistency pays off.  You can’t wish for it, or scroll for it, or hope it happens, you have to work for it.

This kept throwing me back to thinking about my sobriety, it’s HARD WORK.  I failed a ton, but I kept going, I got back at it.  Even on days when I thought it didn’t matter to anyone.  I created new ways to have fun in my life even when I still thought fun was drinking.  I stopped wishing for it and started showing up in my new life.  I stopped scrolling for it, I started doing it.

Rachel’s Husband Dave ( who was the host) announced he had stopped drinking and was 8 months sober, now that took the courage of a lifetime, to me my utmost respect went out to him to announce he had stopped drinking to a room full of 6,0000 strangers.  I think I fell a little in love with him.  Both of them also addressed and asked the audience if anyone had coped in unhealthy ways with alcohol or drugs.  So many people raised their hands, it reinforced to me once again we are not alone.

Rachel addressed how when you make healthy changes to your life or changes in general and that not everyone is going to understand or for that matter even support it, but honestly it’s no ones business.  And once again that hit home, I’ve encountered this not only when I decided to get healthy, but when I quit drinking and also being an entrepreneur.

I also started talking to people randomly (this was a networking event) I truly believe like minded people find each other and I found so many others who had stopped drinking or didn’t drink.  The networking event got a lot easier when I opened up and allowed myself to be vulnerable and let others in.

The Rise Business Event was educational & inspiring, as an entrepreneur but what I really took home were two things:

  1. We are not alone, no matter what we are struggling with.
  2. Hard Work, not hoping for something is the key.   In this day and age too many hoping/thinking/dreaming/wishing instead of going after how we want our lives to look like, without making the changes, and putting in the effort DAILY = CONSISTENCY.

 

If you are an entrepreneur I highly suggest attending this event.  Rise Business Event 2020 it will be held in Austin Texas next year, thank goodness.  I will be attending again, not only do I want to see where I have grown in business but as a person.

A huge shout out to Rachel and Dave Hollis for really teaching, showing &  connecting

Let me know if you follow The Hollis’s

xoxo ChristinaIMG_94107eNJuaTwTo2%aqimjhxGVwnJDId8F3Qpux5zy6hjH8Wg

 

 

 

Expectation vs Reality

Expectation vs Reality

Thursday I was to leave on a road trip at noon, well at 2pm I was still waiting for my girlfriend to pick me up. Waiting and waiting as we didn’t end up leaving until 3pm. Now if you have ever tried to get away from home, as a business owner, wife, mom, fur mom you know that this is never easy. By 230 I was getting pissed off, I had been up since 5am getting ready to leave for noon.

This is a girls trip and we were road tripping for about 5 hours, as my girlfriend is competing in a body building/fitness competition. When I agreed to I go I was so excited to be going away. Expecting a super instagrammable girls weekend, doing fun things in a different city and then being with her watching her journey onto the stage.

Though the last 24 hours is not what I expected. We left late yesterday due some unfortunate circumstances with a family emergency late Wednesday and her leaving things to the last minute to do (like cooking and packing her food & packing)

We arrive around 8pm and I needed to eat so I went to the hotel bar by myself ate. Then it was getting organized and off to bed. Today we were up early she had check in with her coach and we had to run around for an hour. Getting some more food for her which she hadn’t bought or cooked enough. I was planning after this we would head off and explore for a few hours. She was tired, so instead of doing anything today (remember I have no car and no uber here) back to the hotel room.

So I decide no more sitting around for me!!! Off to the pool for a swim then I sat in the lobby and did some work & read. I then decided to head out and go for a walk and poke around the mall across the street. This did help pass the time this afternoon.

I’m bored out of my mind. Why because I expected something different. It’s raining here, and it never rains in the city we are in especially in July, I thought my girlfriend would be happy, she’s not. She’s tired and #hangry

Expectation VS Reality is super common, sometimes we don’t even realize we’ve put expectations on things (like this trip). It can happen with relationships, jobs, dates, special occasions and events (think weddings, family reunions, christenings etc.

WHAT TO DO:

Try to not hype an event up. I think back to my wedding I really had low expectations of it. We were married in a very rural part of Panama – Central America, in a boutique hotel that had never held a wedding. I really didn’t know how it was going to go. It was amazing and it ended up being one of my most fun nights of my life, I loved my wedding)

Putting it into perspective, I had more expectations for this trip than my wedding.

Change the things you can and let go of what you can’t.

I’m not good with boredom. So I can’t control that my girlfriend is tired and hangry and that she just wants to relax. I can control my boredom (I am writing this post,) I went and did my own things and I went out for dinner again. You cannot control anyone else, just yourself.

Communicate

My girlfriend and I decided because of the weather not to stay the extra day here, like we were going to.

Let Go of the Expectation

Let it be what it is going to be and make the best of the situation. So yes let it go, while it’s happening. I’m catching up on work, reading and will hit the gym tomorrow morning, and will go and enjoy watching the Fitness show.

I’ve been on bad dates and just decided to enjoy it for what it was. Visits with my family that were less than stellar and just counted down the hours. My son decided not to go to University but he’s super happy at what he’s doing now. Let go of your expectations.

xoxoxo Christina

I Am Your Wife, Not Your Drinking Buddy

“I am your wife, not your drinking buddy” I yelled at my husband. This was the first of many arguments we had when I brought up the subject we need to quit drinking. This was years before I actually quit. Our marriage was bad, we were always arguing, I tallied up our receipts about the third week in August and our patio drinking bills were over $900.00 (that didn’t include what we drank at home) eventually our marriage was under so much stress, he agreed. We quit for like a hot minute.

I had a pattern of picking men, that like myself liked to drink. I have an ex boyfriend that said when we went on our first date he was glad to see I wasn’t some prude that had two drinks (should have been a red flag right there) Though back, then drinking hadn’t become the devastating evil drug it is to me today. I could function.

When I met my husband we liked to drink but there was also a balance in our relationship of hanging out and going and doing things. The problem is that shifted and by the time that August came we were probably 5 years into our relationship, all we were doing together was drinking.

Didn’t we both need to quit?

You see I thought we both had to quit, in order for me to quit. I wasn’t ready to take personal responsibility for my own life. I blamed him and it’s true we were drinking a lot and regularly together. BUT if I am unhappy I have to change my life.

Me quitting drinking was a decision I came to on my own, I didn’t even give him, or are marriage a thought in this process, of me quitting. The level of hangovers that every time I drank I wanted off earth. I would spiral, he didn’t even see it. I life, I didn’t like myself.

We are still together, the first year of my sobriety, I didn’t think we were going to make it. It changed our lives completely. I never actually told him I was quitting I just took action and did it. Fucked up and took action again until my sobriety stuck. My husband wasn’t supportive of my not drinking, he lost a drinking buddy, it’s ok he found others.

I’d love to hear if anyone else was their spouses drinking buddy, or struggles with this. Leave your comment below.

xoxo Christina