The changes I have incurred

I am sitting here fuming I’m hungry, it’s 7pm and we haven’t eaten dinner (that’s another story)  and I thought about the changes that have occurred in the last 6 months since I’ve stopped drinking.

  1. I HAVE NO HANGOVER such an amazing feeling
  2. I eat dinner earlier, I never used to get dinner on the table sometimes until 8pm when I was drinking, and even then we sometimes would have to order in or I’d be serving munchies to tide us over. (So much mom guilt about this, from when my son was younger)
  3.  Drinking caused me not to eat, consciously sometimes as I would save my calories for drinking, now I live in a calorie deficit and I occasionally eat dessert and have ZERO guilt about it.
  4. My social media is exactly where I left it the night before, no checking texts or facebook to see what I have said or who I talked to (ugh)
  5. There are no grandiose plans being made.  I came across an email today I had about a fitness challenge that I wrote to a lady saying my husband would get on board.  Drunken plans
  6. I don’t smoke ugh I’d kill off a pack of cigarettes in a night.
  7. I married a man that we have nothing in common other than we drank together and made grandiose plans.
  8. I get up and workout, I meditate, I take care of my health.
  9. I do what I say I’m going to do and if I break my commitment it’s not because I have a hangover.
  10. I say no thank you. I don’t justify it. I don’t say yes then lie my way out of it later.
  11. I am productive.
  12. Ive made quality friends
  13. I feel a lot of feelings, today I started to cry because of the state of the world. Water running out in S. Africa, a baby raped in India, housing no longer affordable in my city, our insurance corporations fraud both internally and externally. I just cried.

And one of the most significant changes is making myself a priority, my mindset I am grateful, I always try to see the bright side of life, and I am present.  I don’t say sobriety is a gift because I work every day for it. Those are the few of my changes that have happened consciously or unconsciously through the months.

 

Here’s to another Sober Day.

Christina

 

GSD, a Side Effect of Sobriety

I was always so exhausted and unmotivated from my hangovers the simplest tasks seemed like my legs weighed a thousand pounds and the dread of doing the not imminent chores or tasks got thrown to the wayside.  Which of course just added up to the longest “didn’t do” list ever.  Which made me anxious and irritable, nothing is worse than the simplest things piling up.

Now I can be a procrastinator, I get this and accept it about myself.  Though tonight I noticed something, at 630PM when I was running out the door to buy stamps for a card that needed to go in the mail tonight…. what I noticed was, I did it and joyfully.  The Side Effect of my Sobriety is Getting Shit Done. It’s a Sunday night usually I was so hungover and feeling down about myself and my wasted  weekend I would not have just popped out, the door or I  worse I was drinking again.

Months back I was exhausted and scared, I went to bed early, I had rocky sleeps, I was looking for stuff to do that didn’t involve drinking, anything to do, but I wasn’t getting shit done.  I was hiding a bit.  I would venture to things like yoga or coffee, or shopping.  Fridays were scary, Sundays were scary and every day in between was scary. Looking back I’m ok with being scared, hiding from the world, and exploring the world in safe places.

It seems like I have woken up and I’m Getting Shit Done.  Those little tasks don’t seem as tiring, I still have a didn’t do list but my to do list also has a lot crossed off.  I’m sleeping really well and not going to sleep as early, and waking up refreshed.  It’s like there’s been a reset button pushed and I’m GSD’ing.

Now off to write my gym workout and layout my gym clothes!  Who is this woman!!!

Happy Sober Day Christina

Just Keep Going…

Update from Friday, as I mentioned I’ve had a tough October, sober but tough… I wanted to give an update from Friday, as Friday was a bitch I was happy & anxious and I wanted to drink to get rid of the anxiety and be happier than I already was.  I ended up going to bed and not really being able to sleep despite being tired so watched Netflix.   I did not drink though.

Saturday I guess what I did.   NOTHING that’s correct, I did NOTHING.  I had a shower I got dressed and I did NOTHING.  I have no idea the last time I did literally NOTHING,  mom’s/wives/girlfriends/ daughters/friends/workers (put your label in here) don’t do nothing. My son asked me to go to his g/f’s soccer game I said no.  My husband asked me to go to Costco I said no.  Remember No is a complete sentence.  I said NO to everything that day and it was one of the best things I could do for me.  I stayed in on this rainy October yucky day and literally laid around. I Let my husband do the groceries(that’s another story (no vegetables or fruit was bought) , let him do the cooking & my son do the clean up and when I say I did nothing I mean nothing.

Guess what I woke up Sunday and I felt really good.  I needed a break from life, I took one probably one that I needed so long ago.  So here is proof, when you are struggling through cravings, it will go away if you do not give in, I didn’t drink and I’m so beyond words glad I’m sober and stayed sober.  So do what you need to do to get through the cravings ( I paced around, I reached out online, I meditated, I watched Netflix) because Friday was bad but Sunday is good.

Sobriety can’t be bought it is earned nano second by nanosecond, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day.  Earning something and working for it,  I appreciate it, I cherish it a little deeper.  Maybe even deeper than I did on the days it came easy.

A round of water for all!

Christina