Do You Smoke Pot?

Do you smoke pot? Do you eat edibles? I am getting so tired of this question, as I am getting asked it almost daily.

When I got sober, I decided consciously to rid my body and mind completely of substances including cigarettes. So I decided not to turn alcohol into another habit.

It’s no different to me, if I gave up alcohol but I had decided to snort cocaine (though not according to society) and honestly I much prefer to go up, than be chowing down on Oreo’s and slugging about. I believe a drug is a drug (alcohol is a drug, pot is a drug, cigarettes are a drug, oxycontaine is a drug, cocaine is a drug) . The only difference to me is the government legalizing and collecting money off of it and labelling it ok.

Honestly I am sick and tired of the pot culture that has popped up here, there is a cannabis shop on every block in my city, people smoke it walking down the street, I’d be arrested if I walked around with a wine glass, or shamed if you smoke a cigarette here in public.

I have known too many that have substituted one substance for another, and again are running/hiding/ not dealing with the real issues, numbing out just using a different agent.

So the answer is no my friends the answer is no I do not smoke pot, I don’t do cocaine, cigarettes, or oxy, or any other drug and yes yes yes I have fun. It’s called life in full colour.

Mocktails are not all innocent

Mocktails are not all innocent

A recovery coach told me when I got sober, to go through the same ritual with mocktails, that I did with my cocktails, make a fancy drink they said, put it in a fancy glass enjoy. So on a hot May evening in 2017 that’s what I did, following the exact same habit looking up a recipe, making the mocktail, adding it to a fancy glass, with a lemon wedge, then sitting on the patio and then pretending. I might as well have just added the vodka to this pretty drink right then and there. I drank the next night. I have never made a mocktail at home again.

I never liked the idea of making mocktails at home, typically I drink water in general, before I got sober, I gave up pop years ago (was never a big drinker of it anyways) sometimes I’ll have fresh OJ with brunch, and of course Grape Gatorade when I was hungover (funny thing is I haven’t had a Gatorade since I got sober). But in general I drink 1 cup of coffee in the morning, and water. So the mocktail to me is like calling a tofu steak a real beef steak, it was not the real deal and when your in the mood for a beef steak and you get served tofu, it doesn’t cut it, in fact it made me crave alcohol more than ever.

I do order mocktails out sometimes, at work events or on Valentines Day and the Occasional Special dinner out but honestly 90% of them have been ok 10% have been amazing the one I paid $9.00 for, I felt ripped off.

The other problem I find with mocktails is they tend to be high in sugar drinks. Which in turn I crave more sugar.

I have tried other drinks like la croix and honestly it was just carbonated water, which I am not a fan of carbonated drinks. I don’t like feeling bloated and their coconut flavour tasted like Malibu to me. So another trigger.

So in the end I decided I’ll just stick with my water & coffee and my afternoon tea because mocktails are not all innocent to me.

Have you ever found mocktails triggering or do they satisfy the craving for a drink for you? Tell me in the comments I’m super interested.

xoxoxo Christina

FOMO While Travelling Sober

FOMO While Travelling Sober

FOMO while travelling can really lead down a rabbit hole of self destruction. This past week I travelled from winter weather (chilly but sunny) to a self development self love conference in SUNNY New Port Beach California. A travel tip I live by is hit up the grocery store for provisions as Hangry doesn’t just happen at home.

Off I walked to Whole Foods, which is located in a very posh, very beautiful place called Fashion Island. BAM it hit me, that itch, all I could see while walking there were these beautiful patios, filled with beautiful people, sitting drinking. I haven’t had that itch in a while (it’s been winter here) and it was a sinking feeling.

I used to like Whole Foods concept, but by the time I was finished buying my provisions and had to cruise by the Booze Section, my thoughts were heading into a negative spiral, Whole Foods doesn’t care about your health or they wouldn’t be carrying Booze. By the time I got out of Whole Foods I had a full on hate going for the store. ( I call it Whole Paycheck seriously who shops at this store regularly, so overpriced, especially now considering Amazon owns it) as you can guess I was even pissier. I’ve been plastered by the lure of cocktails from the moment I touched down in the sun. FOMO kicks in I think I am the only one in California, not sitting on a patio drinking, except it’s about 1pm on Thursday, but my rational brain has not kicked in on this.

Friday Night the first night of the conference begins and I chose not to purchase the VIP option of this conference as it is a Wine Night, I made this choice months ago, the friends I am with are all going and the FOMO is beating on my brain, again I am the only one (which is not true) not drinking while travelling. I’m exhausted from sightseeing and walking, I’m emotionally tired from the alcohol vibes, I want to sleep, but I can’t. I’m having serious FOND (Fear of Not Drinking). Even though my friends have been great ( they aren’t sober people, but also don’t have drinking issues) it’s always the voice inside my head that’s the loudest.

I sat and cried and when I did so I also had a thought, WHY am I here?

Not here physically with a drinking problem, but why am I here in California. Why did I travel to this event? Why did I spend all this money?

My mom always taught me travelling was the best form of education, and a lot of vacations I have drank away and been so hungover I didn’t want to do anything the next day, but sit lay by a pool or in bed and sleep. I did not go on the tours booked, boat rides offered, exploring, or even out of the hotel, due to hangovers, I would miss the days.

“You can drink anywhere, why would you drink while travelling? The reason to travel isn’t to drink, but to explore, be curious, soak in what you are there for”

This one though changed my entire trip, it ended the FOMO, it ended all my feelings about drinking and the romanticizing of the drinking. I am not hear to drink, I’m hear to love myself and be a part of an event of 500 women and to recharge, to connect and to learn.

I had this realization once I asked myself the above, I wasn’t missing out, I was gaining the most from this experience I could by being present.

This past year I have had the privilege to travel extensively sober and honestly have been the best travel of my life.

So instead of FOMO and feeling sorry for myself I looked at what I got from this trip was far more valuable than any cocktail could ever offer me.

xoxox Christina