I Am Your Wife, Not Your Drinking Buddy

“I am your wife, not your drinking buddy” I yelled at my husband. This was the first of many arguments we had when I brought up the subject we need to quit drinking. This was years before I actually quit. Our marriage was bad, we were always arguing, I tallied up our receipts about the third week in August and our patio drinking bills were over $900.00 (that didn’t include what we drank at home) eventually our marriage was under so much stress, he agreed. We quit for like a hot minute.

I had a pattern of picking men, that like myself liked to drink. I have an ex boyfriend that said when we went on our first date he was glad to see I wasn’t some prude that had two drinks (should have been a red flag right there) Though back, then drinking hadn’t become the devastating evil drug it is to me today. I could function.

When I met my husband we liked to drink but there was also a balance in our relationship of hanging out and going and doing things. The problem is that shifted and by the time that August came we were probably 5 years into our relationship, all we were doing together was drinking.

Didn’t we both need to quit?

You see I thought we both had to quit, in order for me to quit. I wasn’t ready to take personal responsibility for my own life. I blamed him and it’s true we were drinking a lot and regularly together. BUT if I am unhappy I have to change my life.

Me quitting drinking was a decision I came to on my own, I didn’t even give him, or are marriage a thought in this process, of me quitting. The level of hangovers that every time I drank I wanted off earth. I would spiral, he didn’t even see it. I life, I didn’t like myself.

We are still together, the first year of my sobriety, I didn’t think we were going to make it. It changed our lives completely. I never actually told him I was quitting I just took action and did it. Fucked up and took action again until my sobriety stuck. My husband wasn’t supportive of my not drinking, he lost a drinking buddy, it’s ok he found others.

I’d love to hear if anyone else was their spouses drinking buddy, or struggles with this. Leave your comment below.

xoxo Christina

Do You Smoke Pot?

Do you smoke pot? Do you eat edibles? I am getting so tired of this question, as I am getting asked it almost daily.

When I got sober, I decided consciously to rid my body and mind completely of substances including cigarettes. So I decided not to turn alcohol into another habit.

It’s no different to me, if I gave up alcohol but I had decided to snort cocaine (though not according to society) and honestly I much prefer to go up, than be chowing down on Oreo’s and slugging about. I believe a drug is a drug (alcohol is a drug, pot is a drug, cigarettes are a drug, oxycontaine is a drug, cocaine is a drug) . The only difference to me is the government legalizing and collecting money off of it and labelling it ok.

Honestly I am sick and tired of the pot culture that has popped up here, there is a cannabis shop on every block in my city, people smoke it walking down the street, I’d be arrested if I walked around with a wine glass, or shamed if you smoke a cigarette here in public.

I have known too many that have substituted one substance for another, and again are running/hiding/ not dealing with the real issues, numbing out just using a different agent.

So the answer is no my friends the answer is no I do not smoke pot, I don’t do cocaine, cigarettes, or oxy, or any other drug and yes yes yes I have fun. It’s called life in full colour.

Mocktails are not all innocent

Mocktails are not all innocent

A recovery coach told me when I got sober, to go through the same ritual with mocktails, that I did with my cocktails, make a fancy drink they said, put it in a fancy glass enjoy. So on a hot May evening in 2017 that’s what I did, following the exact same habit looking up a recipe, making the mocktail, adding it to a fancy glass, with a lemon wedge, then sitting on the patio and then pretending. I might as well have just added the vodka to this pretty drink right then and there. I drank the next night. I have never made a mocktail at home again.

I never liked the idea of making mocktails at home, typically I drink water in general, before I got sober, I gave up pop years ago (was never a big drinker of it anyways) sometimes I’ll have fresh OJ with brunch, and of course Grape Gatorade when I was hungover (funny thing is I haven’t had a Gatorade since I got sober). But in general I drink 1 cup of coffee in the morning, and water. So the mocktail to me is like calling a tofu steak a real beef steak, it was not the real deal and when your in the mood for a beef steak and you get served tofu, it doesn’t cut it, in fact it made me crave alcohol more than ever.

I do order mocktails out sometimes, at work events or on Valentines Day and the Occasional Special dinner out but honestly 90% of them have been ok 10% have been amazing the one I paid $9.00 for, I felt ripped off.

The other problem I find with mocktails is they tend to be high in sugar drinks. Which in turn I crave more sugar.

I have tried other drinks like la croix and honestly it was just carbonated water, which I am not a fan of carbonated drinks. I don’t like feeling bloated and their coconut flavour tasted like Malibu to me. So another trigger.

So in the end I decided I’ll just stick with my water & coffee and my afternoon tea because mocktails are not all innocent to me.

Have you ever found mocktails triggering or do they satisfy the craving for a drink for you? Tell me in the comments I’m super interested.

xoxoxo Christina