I am the host tonight of a birthday dinner, sober Tonight is my husbands birthday, a few noticeable things, have come up he hasn’t a lot of friends (except 1 ) and that one friend is a great friend to him and he’s MR FUN. I believe you should have one great friend instead of a 25 acquaintances (which he does have) . He prefers to stay home instead of going out ( we are very different that way)
It’s his Birthday so he gets to choose what we do, and guess what, evidently there’s a football game on (insert groan here) that he insists trumps going out for dinner. He also gets to choose what we eat and drink (or what he drinks not me)
So today I started organizing more of a football party than a birthday party. Appies are 5 different high end cheeses and crackers (no potato chips here) so today I made a lovely platter. He chose surf and turf, NOT A VEGETABLE IN SIGHT so off to the butcher for good steaks, and seafood so off to the local seafood market for King Crab Legs, and Scallops I went, and of course he wanted Beer and Rum. And that’s where the BOUNDARIES had to come into place. I had a small inkling today for wine for some reason. In fact I’ve had a couple of triggers in the past few days, I’m tired my sleep has been very broken that’s part of the reason. I picked up a lime for my salad dressing the other night and thought oh I could make Margaritas – oops I don’t drink.
Here’s 8 TIPS TO HOSTING A SOBER PARTY
- YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR SOMEONE ELSE’S BOOZE, THEY CAN GO BUY IT AND BRING IT, OR IF IT’S FOR YOUR SPOUSE THEY CAN GO PICK IT UP. Never put yourself in a situation where you might pick up a bottle of your liquor of choice.
- Ensure you have something to drink, whether it’s a mocktail, a water, tea, what ever it may be just something in your hand.
- Keep busy during the dinner, cooking, cleaning, serving, eating
- EAT & Breathe
- If it’s just a small intimate group like tonight there is 5 of us, and all but me are drinking at an appropriate time (aka as long as you can stand it and get out unscathed) excuse yourself and GO TO BED.
- Bonus: 4 deep breaths in through the nostril 4 long breaths out. Do 10 times, if you have to hide in the bathroom.
- Plan something for tomorrow. I am meeting a friend at the gym at 10AM, for a brutal leg day session planned and if it’s nice out I’m going to run there.
- Play the tape out to the end. The stupidity, the argument, the relief it will feel for a moment and then the anxiety, guilt, shame, and of course play your HANGOVER out and your cancelling on tomorrows plans. Remember it’s not worth it. That’s why you stopped drinking in the first place.
Don’t forget to enjoy the Dinner/Party/Birthday and going to bed sober, that’s what I’ll be doing tonight!