Rachel Hollis and Hard Work

Any other Rachel Hollis fans out there?

Last May I signed up for a business weekend called RISE Business Event with Rachel Hollis all the way  in South Carolina (remember I’m from Vancouver Canada).  November rolled around and so did the conference, and I was resisting going. Off I went on a 13 hour flight (I could have gotten to Europe) but I plunked down in North Charleston.

The great thing was it was warm.  I entered the arena the next day with about 6,000 other entrepreneurs and what a rush it was.  Now, I never really followed Rachel Hollis but the speaker line up was undeniably amazing.  Then this amazing force of creative entrepreneurial  nature hit the stage and I was a hard core fan girl.

A few things hit me hard over the next 3 days.  Rachel Hollis kept pounding into us how amazing  being an entrepreneur is but also it’s HARD WORK and consistency pays off.  You can’t wish for it, or scroll for it, or hope it happens, you have to work for it.

This kept throwing me back to thinking about my sobriety, it’s HARD WORK.  I failed a ton, but I kept going, I got back at it.  Even on days when I thought it didn’t matter to anyone.  I created new ways to have fun in my life even when I still thought fun was drinking.  I stopped wishing for it and started showing up in my new life.  I stopped scrolling for it, I started doing it.

Rachel’s Husband Dave ( who was the host) announced he had stopped drinking and was 8 months sober, now that took the courage of a lifetime, to me my utmost respect went out to him to announce he had stopped drinking to a room full of 6,0000 strangers.  I think I fell a little in love with him.  Both of them also addressed and asked the audience if anyone had coped in unhealthy ways with alcohol or drugs.  So many people raised their hands, it reinforced to me once again we are not alone.

Rachel addressed how when you make healthy changes to your life or changes in general and that not everyone is going to understand or for that matter even support it, but honestly it’s no ones business.  And once again that hit home, I’ve encountered this not only when I decided to get healthy, but when I quit drinking and also being an entrepreneur.

I also started talking to people randomly (this was a networking event) I truly believe like minded people find each other and I found so many others who had stopped drinking or didn’t drink.  The networking event got a lot easier when I opened up and allowed myself to be vulnerable and let others in.

The Rise Business Event was educational & inspiring, as an entrepreneur but what I really took home were two things:

  1. We are not alone, no matter what we are struggling with.
  2. Hard Work, not hoping for something is the key.   In this day and age too many hoping/thinking/dreaming/wishing instead of going after how we want our lives to look like, without making the changes, and putting in the effort DAILY = CONSISTENCY.

 

If you are an entrepreneur I highly suggest attending this event.  Rise Business Event 2020 it will be held in Austin Texas next year, thank goodness.  I will be attending again, not only do I want to see where I have grown in business but as a person.

A huge shout out to Rachel and Dave Hollis for really teaching, showing &  connecting

Let me know if you follow The Hollis’s

xoxo ChristinaIMG_94107eNJuaTwTo2%aqimjhxGVwnJDId8F3Qpux5zy6hjH8Wg

 

 

 

Alcohol in the house when you are sober

On Friday night I hosted a dinner party for business associates of my husband that I did not know, but knew they weren’t big drinkers (one of them is going through chemo). So I wasn’t super worried about it. I have alcohol in my house my husband still drinks. The other factor is I have not isolated myself, ie stopped going places that serves alcohol. I know people that won’t even go into the Starbucks that serves beer. Please also remember at the beginning of my sobriety, I was very careful where I would go (IE I would not sit on a patio on a hot summers day with everyone around me drinking a chardonnay) but at this stage of my journey I know could could care less about booze.

The two things I have not had in my house and won’t have in my house since I got sober is wine and this drink called Hey Y’all. Both were my drink of choice.

So as many of you know when hosting a dinner party, it’s not just the dinner prep, its the tidying of the house, putting away the crap on the front hallway table that’s accumulated (running gear mainly) dusting the built in shelves in the living room that the couch doesn’t face and honestly I’m not sure when I last dusted them, cleaning the main bathroom, cleaning up the plant that Billy (my cat) knocked over in the process while I was cleaning, all the little things that go with prepping a dinner party. By the time dinner was well underway, I was tired and quite hungry.

I had not been there to greet our guests, I headed back into the kitchen though to serve dinner, and low and behold one of our guests had brought me a bottle of wine and it was just sitting on the counter just sitting on the counter like so many times before. Unopened, just sitting staring at me. A cold shiver ran down the back of my neck. I served dinner.

Now I’ve been around wine, people drinking it doesn’t bother me, just NOT in my house.

My husband and I rarely talk about my not drinking or my reasons what led up to me not wanting to drink, when I told him I need to quit drinking his first reaction was you need to quit smoking you don’t have a drinking problem.

When we went to clean up after the guests left (omg dinner party are the best when people are not getting shit faced, cleaning up at 930pm) I looked at my husband and looked at the bottle and I said this gives me shivers. He’s like why not take it to our tenants downstairs, then I said something else, and he said it’s still early take it down NOW. I put my flip flops on and zipped downstairs and handed a nice bottle of wine to the couple, who were thrilled.

Moral of this story, you can be strong in your sobriety, you can keep alcohol in your house, you can go out with friends who drink. DO NOT keep your drink or drug of choice (nicotine is my drug of choice) in your house. Why tempt fate.

Getting Drinking Under Control

  • “I drink my wine so fast I get smashed before dinner” time to switch to coolers”
  • “I’m going to switch from coolers back to wine all that carbonation is making me bloated and I can drink a lot of coolers”
  • “We can’t drink during the week anymore week anymore, I feel like hell
  • I’ll only drink on Friday and Saturday. Oh ok Sunday brunch too.
  • “I’ll only do one Wine Wednesday a month
  • “I’ll only have a glass of wine with dinner”
  • ” I’m going to switch to vodka and soda even though I don’t really like the taste of it, but I’m packing on the pounds from all the coolers”
  • “We need to drink right after work, not later’
  • “We need to start drinking during the day so we can go to bed early and don’t have a have a hangover tomorrow.”

The above were all things I said aloud or in my head, I’m sure there were a hundred more, what I didn’t know at the time was I was trying to moderate. I’d never heard that term before I started digging into my Recovery. To my way of thinking I was just trying to have less of a hangover on work days and less of a shit show and of course more control.

This conversation has come up lately in a few of my sober groups and with friends. We have talked about trying to control our drinking with switching out, switching up, and doing things differently. The overwhelming thing was every one I have talked with has done the control thing in one form or another, Each and Every One, that’s a 100% statistic.

The other statistic that came out was every single person has googled something about controlling drinking, or if they were an alcoholic, or about alcohol problems.

Deep down, in your gut/intuition if you are trying to control an issue, you know it’s a problem whether it’s a phase in your life or an actual problem is something that only time tells.

I have gone through stages in my life where my drinking was more then less, but when I started trying to have to control it, because my mental health, my overall well being and the gong show of evenings were becoming more regular than not and I couldn’t get it under control, (ie everything you just read up top wasn’t working) that’s when I knew it was time to look at stopping (but that’s another blog post)

Can you identify with any of the above moderations? I’d love to hear about it.

xoxox Christina