Gratitude

Gratitude.  Everyone talks about it but what is it? Remember your mom say ing ” we are blessed or be grateful you have that”  So I technically know what it means.  The Miriam Webster Dictionary definition is appreciative of benefits.

What I had wished 20 years ago is what Gratitude actually  was.  If I had thought about it or had it explained to me.   You see I was a single mom back then.

GRATITUDE LOOKING BACK

I would waitress nights, I loved it, I had an amazing group on the night crew, and we always had  each others back (we still know each other).   I never had to work weekends so I could be home with my son, I was finishing  school for my degree.  I didn’t receive any child support, I lived 3 blocks from the beach in the best neighbourhood in the city.   We lived at the beach in the summer.  I lived in an amazing building, that had wonderful neighbours that pitched in with raising my son.  I had an amazing sitter in the building, that babysat nights for me for extra cash as her husband was always on the road. The community everyone knew each other (so rare in our city now.)  I had a car, my son played soccer, we had food on the table, clothes on our backs, great friends, my parents pitched in with both time and money even though they didn’t live anywhere near me.

HINDSIGHT IS 20/20

Hindsight is 20/20 though,  I would complain, days could be long and hard, I was tired a lot,  especially when my son was little.  There wasn’t a lot of extra money to go around but enough.

Motherhood is hard, single motherhood is not for the weak.    We had so much to be grateful for.  Life was pretty damn good even on the hard days.  I wish I could have seen that.  I see it now, today I am so grateful.  So damn appreciative.  Now my city is one of the most expensive in North America, and single moms with no child support waitressing and going to school aren’t living 3 blocks from the beach.

If I could say something to my younger self, it would be write 3 things you are grateful for every night.  It’s what I do now, and life isn’t as hard.

Interestingly enough I look and think is life easier because I’m grateful or know what gratitude is?

I wish I had done it then to see the beauty in my life.

 

xoxo Christina

 

 

 

 

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