“I am your wife, not your drinking buddy” I yelled at my husband. This was the first of many arguments we had when I brought up the subject we need to quit drinking. This was years before I actually quit. Our marriage was bad, we were always arguing, I tallied up our receipts about the third week in August and our patio drinking bills were over $900.00 (that didn’t include what we drank at home) eventually our marriage was under so much stress, he agreed. We quit for like a hot minute.
I had a pattern of picking men, that like myself liked to drink. I have an ex boyfriend that said when we went on our first date he was glad to see I wasn’t some prude that had two drinks (should have been a red flag right there) Though back, then drinking hadn’t become the devastating evil drug it is to me today. I could function.
When I met my husband we liked to drink but there was also a balance in our relationship of hanging out and going and doing things. The problem is that shifted and by the time that August came we were probably 5 years into our relationship, all we were doing together was drinking.
Didn’t we both need to quit?
You see I thought we both had to quit, in order for me to quit. I wasn’t ready to take personal responsibility for my own life. I blamed him and it’s true we were drinking a lot and regularly together. BUT if I am unhappy I have to change my life.
Me quitting drinking was a decision I came to on my own, I didn’t even give him, or are marriage a thought in this process, of me quitting. The level of hangovers that every time I drank I wanted off earth. I would spiral, he didn’t even see it. I life, I didn’t like myself.
We are still together, the first year of my sobriety, I didn’t think we were going to make it. It changed our lives completely. I never actually told him I was quitting I just took action and did it. Fucked up and took action again until my sobriety stuck. My husband wasn’t supportive of my not drinking, he lost a drinking buddy, it’s ok he found others.
I’d love to hear if anyone else was their spouses drinking buddy, or struggles with this. Leave your comment below.