I am a worrier, I have the “what if’s”

On Saturday I will honour 6 months of sobriety.  Wow, who can believe it, I barely can.  The saying that really hits me is “just start because the time will pass any ways”

A couple of scenarios that really stick out for me about situations  I have been worried about explaining my non drinking.  It created so much stress leading up to both of these.

  1. I was going away on a scrapbook retreat with 2 other girlfriends, .  Typically it’s a girls weekend and no husbands are around.  Well one of my gf’s who I fly in with her husband was also arriving in town (I’ve known him since I was 18 and love him dearly)  and he’s best friends with the other woman’s husband and the guys were planning a big reunion.  We’ve had some big drinking nights and so much fun, I was worried. I discussed it in my support group, I fretted, I created scenarios in my head,  I went as far as phoning my girlfriend and say I was going to stay at a hotel.  She was like hell no the guys are not impeding in our weekend.  I was still scared.  What actually happened, we all went for Breakfast on the Friday, I got to see my gf’s husband and had a great visit.  Then off  the girls went.  So Friday night  and both the guys were too tired to go out (aging sucks) and they didn’t even meet up.  All the stress leading up to the retreat, the panic, the overthinking was not needed. I had a great weekend, and got to see everyone
  2. My girlfriend arrived from Australia on Christmas Day,  who I haven’t seen in 4 years, but her entire social media prior to arrival was a drunken mess.  I was worried I was going to have to have the “I don’t drink anymore” conversation with her.  We were out every day from Dec 28- Jan 1st and we did everything touristy , not once was I tempted to order a drink and because I drank water or coffee, or tea  she never ordered a drink.  All of the stress leading up to her visit could have been avoided. I enjoyed having her and was exhausted when she left. That could have been from all the activities or drama & chaos that surrounds her.

I have always been a worrier, it is part of the reason I drank, drinking took away the what if’s, my parents taught worrying to me that’s what they do.

I worry about everything in fact as I’m writing this, my son just said he’s going out “gulp” what if he gets into an accident.  Like really that was is my first instinct.   My husband was working in very bad weather conditions the other day  I thought “what if”  he hurts himself, I worry about my tenants in my basement suite and have gotten up in the middle of the night to turn up the heat (even though later they said “it was fine but wondered who was walking around in the middle of the night”)  I thought it was a mother thing then I realized it was a learned behaviour, I watched my parents discuss every worry and then there was nothing to worry about.   Worrying literally takes the joy out of the present moment, and can make me feel physically ill.

It’s been interesting looking back in regards to my sobriety.  Letting go of the thought of “what are people are thinking of me not drinking”  .  On New Year’s Eve I went to a party and I made a kick ass punch oh (I’ll post the recipe below), I was asked by a guy why I wasn’t drinking I just said I didn’t drink he looked at me and told me I was brave to say that.  Give me hell yeah, I am brave!   I’ll always have a back up plan  (to get out of a situation I may be in that puts my sobriety in jeopardy or makes me feel uncomfortable ) but my work I need to do  is not to go into situations, worried & stressed and what if’ing myself to death for a week before.

Any other worriers out there?  Let me know how you cope with worrying.

Here’s to another sober day!

xoxo Christina





(makes 2 water pitchers or put all in punch bowl)

1 Can of Frozen Cranberry McCain Juice
1 Can Frozen Pink Lemonade
Small Bag of Frozen Blueberries
Water (I used 1/2 a can from the Juice Can)
1 2 litre bottle of 7-UP ( I only used 3/4)

Mix to taste if it’s too sweet add a little more water!

Delicious and pretty garnish glasses with lemon or a sprig of mint and if you prefer add ice to the glasses not the punch.







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